Fuck appropriateness.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
