i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The air was thick with penises
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Success! We fucked roommates!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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