i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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