No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
