Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
