I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
