how can u be prego again
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
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