I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i think i just lost a toe
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
