Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
