Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize