we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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