I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
