Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
