Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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