yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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