i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
