I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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