Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
