I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
