update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize