sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
