This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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