I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize