i just had sex bonerless
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
