I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
