your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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