i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize