Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
