I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
