I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
