Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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