It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
