So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
