I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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