one two three fourrrrnication!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize