you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
