this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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