It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize