if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
