Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
