We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
