I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
