How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
