my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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