Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
