They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
