Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
