All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize