Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
