if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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