I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
