the condom got lost in my hair
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
