I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
