Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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