now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
that is very illegal...i love you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
