Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize