Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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