Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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