Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize