so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
