I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
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