You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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