the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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