i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
