So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
