Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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