yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize