mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
