But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
