Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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