State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
