If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you didnt know i had herpes?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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